Journey's End: Final Reaction
Jul. 7th, 2008 07:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
salienneAll right, so, I’ve watched the episode, I’ve done my fic, I’ve calmed down and collected myself, and though my mind is still whirling, I think I can do something coherent reaction-wise now. More than a bit rambly, but that’s why I will have various cuts so you don’t have to wade through what doesn’t interest you. :)
Ready, all? ‘Cos here we go:
To start, I just want to say that almost anything I don’t go on about in a little bit, I loved. Seriously. I’m even fine with what happened to Donna (well, more or less but I’ll get to that) because, while utterly heartbreaking and terrible, I believed it, and it seemed like a logical progression, and in a terrible way, it worked. And the Doctor called out Sylvia for being a terrible mom, which, you know, FINALLY.
In particular, though, I loved:
I loved Jackie and Mickey and Big Guns, I loved the Harriet Jones mention, I loved Jackie’s “I named him Doctor except not”, I loved crazy!good!Dalek Caan, I loved Rose fighting back on the beach, I loved everything Sarah Jane, I loved Martha doing what she thought she had to do, I loved getting freaked out by Davros, I loved DoctorDonna, I loved the Martha/Rose bonding (and hug!), I loved spinny Daleks, and I loved loved loved everyone piloting the TARDIS. The joy, the camaraderie, that amazing talented caring family, every one of them better than who they were because of the Doctor.
My favorite scene ever in Doctor Who? More so than Bad Wolf? More so than the wall scene followed by the goodbye on Bad Wolf Bay? More so than Jack and the Doctor talking in Utopia?
That TARDIS family would be it.
I just… I loved this episode, I really did, and it still makes me smile.
But it’s just… there are all these pieces, these little bits, that if they just had some ironing out, if there had just been one more draft of this story, it could be so much better. If the weapon!companions thing went anywhere, if the “all these people sacrificed themselves for you, Doctor” thing went anywhere, and if there weren’t this weird disconnect between “You have this huge family” and “You are ALONE”, I would be thrilled, even with the stuff that’s lacking because of time constraints. Just a few lines of dialogue, just someone telling the Doctor that’s not all there is to it, just a knowing glance with someone, and it would be fine.
But it wasn’t. It was just like all the stand-alone episodes in a season where everyone dies and then everything’s back to normal the next week. And you know that’s fine when the show embraces its lack of emotional continuity or when the episodes are far enough apart, but here, as Davros speaks, we’re shown that somehow all those moments from all those episodes are meant to fit together. Except of course they don’t, because how the hell do you square all the angst and the frolicking the following week?
The episode itself was the same in that Journey’s End just doesn’t quite fit together, and that bothers me.
So… now we get to the not so pleasant part of my reaction: things I wasn’t particularly fond of.
-Now this isn’t really an annoyance so much as a headdesk. I mean, Martha walking the world alone again? Told that she’s going to hell and responding with, “I know”?
She and the Doctor could bond over beers and getting the short end of the stick. If, you know, she stopped saluting and they could rewind past the awkwardness and the, “I wanted to let the man who tortured your family live” thing.
I’m okay with this. I just… feel terrible for the girl.
-No Jack/Rose scene. This I blame on time constraints, but… really? The man who went back to the Estate to watch her grow up, the woman who gave him immortality, and all we get is Rose’s unexplored shock at Jack’s not!death? Especially after Utopia, this just doesn’t make sense from a storytelling perspective, unless Rose was mentioned just to be mentioned (which doesn’t really work when she’s such a large component of Jack and the Doctor’s conversation) or to make Martha feel inferior (EW).
We know there was an off-screen TARDIS hug and later conversation. There had to be. But the fact that we didn’t get it is just… weird, and annoying, and lazy writing, and sort of cheap.
-No Mickey/Rose scene. Not a huge annoyance of mine, but I wonder why he’ll miss Jackie most and we don’t see him and Rose say goodbye (other than time constraints). Now I know they must’ve but… He was really stuck living in the Doctor’s shadow in that alt!world, wasn’t he? Or did Rose just close herself off that much? Or maybe just too much had changed? *Muses*
-Rose saying nothing during the whole companion=weapon thing. This just… bothered me, and struck me as OOC. What held her back from telling the Doctor what she’d told Donna, that the Doctor makes people better?
I blame this on time constraints, but it still struck me as off. Thus in my world, Rose did say something that we didn’t see on-screen. Until I think of a proper reason why she’d stay silent (or until someone provides me with one… please, someone, anyone?), this will be my canon. It’s what I did with the “Werewolf!” TaC hug, and now I’m just about okay with that moment. Hopefully I’ll be okay with her silence eventually too.
-The Doctor making the choice for Rose. The Doctor making the choice for Donna. The Doctor taking away others’ free will to do what he thinks is right. Again. The only time he’s been called on this was when Rose came back from the alt!verse the first time (“I made my choice a long time ago and I’m never gonna leave you”), and ever since then, it’s like no one notices or cares. Which, while perfectly IC, is just weird and more than a bit squicky.
At first when I saw that ending on the beach, my reaction was, “…WTF? O___O Er…” Because, yeah, Blue!Ten tells her he loves her, and yeah they have the passionate snog of doom that one can watch in full on the Confidential (and yes I did grin like a loon), but it was still, “Here’s a consolation prize and a ball and chain in one, Rose! And watch me sacrifice my own happiness again. Kthxbai!”
And Rose—did she look happy to you?
But then, of course, I thought about it. And I thought about it. And I thought, Rose sure as hell didn’t sign on to spend the rest of her life with someone who talks like Donna. And I shook my head and thought about it some more.
And then I listened to Billie’s Beauty and the Beast comparison. And I read a comment that mentioned the two Crichtons in Farscape. And then I wrote fic. And then I was okay.
Now first, I’m going to go off on a little tangent about Farscape, so feel free to skip forward (HERE THERE BE SPOILERS!) or just bear with me here to see where I’m coming from. See, in Farscape, John Crichton is a human astronaut who ends up on a prison ship (Moya) with a bunch of aliens somewhere far far away. And he and his fellow aliens bond, and there is epic Aeryn/Crichton UST.
Then in one episode, Crichton gets split into two. No cloning; both are Crichton. Except one Crichton goes off on another ship with Aeryn while the other Crichton gets stuck aboard Moya. Expectedly, Crichton and Aeryn finally break the UST barrier and are all happy until Crichton dies. Meanwhile, the other Crichton lives his life and does a fair bit of pining.
Re-enter Aeryn. Now for Aeryn, this other Crichton is a clone, a double, an inferior and painful reminder of what she lost. But we’ve also followed this Crichton’s adventures, so while we’ve witnessed Aeryn’s grief and mourned with her, the viewer knows that this is still Crichton. And it takes a while, it takes a long long while, but eventually Aeryn comes to accept that too.
Now, Doctor Who didn’t do as good a job about making us see the Blue!Ten as an equal but alternate Brown!Ten, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is. At least, he’s supposed to be, even if we didn’t get to know him nearly well enough.
So, now we come BACK TO DOCTOR WHO:
Taking the show at face value (as best as we can when the text can’t seem to make up its mind, anyway), Blue!Ten is not exactly like Brown!Ten, and the differences go beyond one heart. Blue!Ten is emotionally in the same place as Nine (so he’s basically where Ten was in The Runaway Bride), and he’s picked up bits of Donna’s voice, her temper, her sarcasm, and he understands her thought processes. Mentally, he’s still as Lonely God and Oncoming Storm and Grinning Genius Who Licks Things as always, but he’s got that dash of Donna’s humanity and more of that obvious “No second chances” darkness.
But he’s still the Doctor. He’s not quite another regeneration because he is still Ten, except he’s not.
And he’s going to have a hard time adjusting to life as a human, of course he is, even with Rose. Because neither one of them ever wanted to “settle down.” I wouldn’t say Rose was averse to it, as such, but she loved the adventure, the new worlds. She loved dashing through the cosmos. And the Doctor, he needs that.
But look at what Sarah Jane made of life on earth. Look at what Jack made of it. After an adjustment period, this Doctor could do it, as long as there was plenty of running and trips to the Amazon and Egypt. A whole new world on another universe—think of what he could discover.
And, what should really make a shipper bounce with squee: the Doctor has one life to live, just one, and he wants to spend it with Rose. Because it’s not Brown!Ten’s decision, not really. Blue!Ten has just as much agency, has a will of his own. Blue!Ten is as much the Doctor as Nine or Two or Ten or Seven; he’s the same Doctor who kissed the Vortex away from Rose, who said goodbye to her at Bad Wolf Bay, who stood there as the Racnoss drowned, who held a dying Master in his arms, who met Agatha Christie, who ran towards Rose with a wild grin on his face before getting shot down by a Dalek.
This is that same Doctor, that same man, and he only has, what, 80 years to live?
And he wants to spend this one lifetime with Rose.
He could’ve argued to stay on the TARDIS. He could have resisted Brown!Ten at every step. What was Brown!Ten going to do? Kick him out of the TARDIS?
Except he knew what Brown!Ten was saying was true, and he wanted this. Both Doctors yearned for the “one adventure he could never have,” but now Blue!Ten could have it. And he could have it with Rose.
Just watch the Confidential to see his end of the kiss—he gets into it like whoa. And no, we didn’t see all of it on-screen, but just because we don’t explicitly see something on-screen doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. For whatever reason they decided to focus just on Rose (I’m guessing either they figured the hand-hold was enough reciprocation or they thought the kiss was too passionate there for the kiddies?), but that doesn’t change the fact that Blue!Ten was very very into the embrace.
The Doctor has wanted this, he’s wanted it for years. Just Brown!Ten doesn’t get it. His double does. (Farscape parallels ahoy!)
As for Rose, I view her situation here as very similar to that at the end of Doomsday. If one were to go just with what we saw there, Rose might work for Torchwood but she also thinks she’s as good as dead and that’s that. Except, of course, it’s not the whole story; she moves on from the all-consuming heartache, she lives her life, she is absolutely brilliant.
And a lot of us knew this would be the case because, well, we know Rose.
Similarly, no, she’s not thrilled here; from her perspective, she’s losing the man she loves for an almost-copy, someone who’s not quite good enough, a consolation prize she’s being charged with looking after, and the Doctor leaves her again without so much as a goodbye. So, yeah, she’s hurt and partially in DO NOT WANT mode. Hell, there’s going to be anger and grief and resentment there for months, if not years. And honestly, she’ll probably never fully get over the abrupt loss of Brown!Ten.
But… Blue!Ten is still the Doctor, and given time, I think Rose would see that. I think the two of them will have to get to know one another again, but honestly, that would’ve had to have happened with Brown!Ten. A lot can happen in a few years, after all, and there would always have been the awkward “How have you changed and how have I changed and what’s our new dynamic and how do we fit now?” transition period. Now, of course, this transition period will be harder, but…
It will pass, and both of them will grow, and I honestly think the two of them will be perfectly happy. Not the weird emotional continuity be damned joy-joy-joy of S2 or the very-few-consequences life of the TARDIS (though I still think Blue!Ten will grow his own TARDIS), but… Rose will live her life, and the Doctor will make a life, and then they’ll have a life together. And the Doctor won’t even have to watch her die while he lives on for centuries and centuries afterward. Because nothing can last forever, not even Rose and the Doctor.
And you know, I’m rather content with that. Because the journey and the struggle and the growth, that’s the interesting bit, and that’s what we have there. That, and Blue!Ten/Rose is actually a rather fascinating and complex web of “um, weird” but also “yay, hope!” And I think RTD intended that.
Also, don’t forget that the show did try to show us her acceptance with the kiss. Obviously they didn’t quite succeed and more actual conversation and subtler body language would’ve been preferable, but I just don’t buy into the theory that Rose only kissed Blue!Ten to make Brown!Ten happy. Rose isn’t that selfless or that manipulative; she heard the words she never needed but would have liked, the words she’s probably imagined for years now, coming out of the lips of the man she loves, and she went for it. I don’t think she consciously thought, “I’m choosing clone-boy now.” She just kissed the Doctor who said the words.
And then Brown!Ten (her Doctor) left in the TARDIS and she ran after him and damn it, he was gone, but then Blue!Ten took her hand and she held his hand back. She wasn’t just passively letting him do it; she reciprocated, just like he did with the kiss, and then they looked at one another, and now the possibilities are left up to us, the viewers, and possibly some showrunners far down the line.
Now in terms of why Brown!Ten couldn’t say the words in the end, I’m going to disagree with Julie Gardner here (blasphemy, I know). But according to her, he couldn’t say it because he’s not “human” enough, which, you know, okay, fine, whatever, have fun with that. ‘Cos that’s not it, not entirely. I mean, yes, it is a factor in that he knows that, because he is a Time Lord, he’s going to have to live on alone. And he knows that he can’t give her everything those words imply, and he knows Blue!Ten can.
But what made him really refuse to say it, what made the words “Does it need saying?” leave his lips, in my world was this:
First, he knows that he doesn’t have to. Even in Doomsday he waited until the last second, because he keeps himself distant. It’s fucked up self-preservation and defense mechanisms galore, but that’s what he does. And here, he doesn’t really need to… because Blue!Ten will say it for him.
And honestly, can you imagine how much it would hurt to say it… and know he can’t have that? To tell Rose he loves her and to then leave her, forever, with “another man”? Ouch.
And there, in the whole “Blue!Ten vs. Brown!Ten” scenario, is where we come to the heart of the matter: if he had said it, what would make Rose go for Blue!Ten instead of him?
Going with the showrunners’ obsession with Ten’s self-sacrifice, that’s what we have here. The Doctor sacrifices his moment with her, his goodbye, his admission, his kiss, so that the other Doctor can say it. So that Rose can accept this.
It’s just a bit manipulative, but for him it’s the right thing to do. It’s the safest and best thing to do. So it’s what he does.
And when he sees that kiss, he just can’t take it. He runs, because as RTD put it, “That the woman you love gets someone who looks exactly like you. And is just as good as you in every single way and you've got to admit that you're happy for them and that's as good as it gets and you've got to turn your back and go!"
Except of course he’s not just happy for them. He’s sad and angry and hurting and he wants that too.
But he’s surrendering his own happiness for Rose, and getting rid of a troublesome double at the same time, and here is where we get to the crux of my annoyance.
What the showrunners think is a good status quo is not what I think is a good status quo. Because in my world, alone and lonely and guilt-ridden and miserable and constantly constantly constantly self-sacrificing is the last place anyone wants to be, and it’s just not a fun heroic place either. In my world, that would wear you down, it would chip away at you until fuck-it-all you just gave up.
Because what we have in this episode is the Doctor put through hell without it ever being acknowledged by anyone but his taunter and some sympathetic looks from Rose’s direction. The Doctor is shown that, despite his best wishes, his companions become “weapons”. The Doctor is reminded of all the people who have sacrificed themselves for him. The Doctor is told that he is the Destroyer of Worlds after witnessing an all-too familiar genocide. The Doctor gets this fun happy gooey family for maybe an hour max before everybody leaves. As he says, they all have “someone else.”
The Doctor also “sacrifices” his own happiness for the woman he loves. By his own admission he needs her, so… he gives her away to someone who is him but not him. And the very next thing he does? He sacrifices his best friend so that she might live, and the last thing he hears from her (other than distracted chatter on a cell phone) is desperate pleading for him not to do what he’s doing. “No,” Donna begs, “please no.”
Now I don’t necessarily agree with him making the decision for her, but I can understand why he did it. But… really? That’s it? That’s all he gets?
Not even an angry bride in his TARDIS, not even a ship’s hull breaking in, not even a previous self. Nothing but the Doctor and his thoughts and his grief, with the Doctor as explicitly emotionally vulnerable as we’ve ever seen him (note the wardrobe—he’s missing that jacket, his armor). And this is the message we take away: you can be amazing, and vital, and heroic, and you’ll still end up miserable and alone. But don’t fret! You’ll keep going. Because it’s what you do.
But you’ll still end up alone.
Now, I’m as much for angst as the next person (thus my Farscape obsession). Hell, if the show didn’t have the “last of his kind” and “I have to live on alone” angst, I probably wouldn’t like it nearly as much. And I agree that sacrifice can be heroic, and struggling to be compassionate and brave and wonderful when everything is just so damn bleak and hard is one of the most amazing things a person can do.
But that can’t be what you keep falling back to. It just can’t. Because in the end, when you have nothing but friends you just can’t rely on (because of his own issues, yes, but they weren’t exactly all “Come in and have tea!” either), when all that’s driving you is loss and responsibility and the vague notion of wonders that must still be out there, when probably the only concrete thing you have to hold onto is the thought of River Song, a woman whose self-sacrifice (for you, no less) is something you’ve just witnessed…
As the Doctor himself says, “You just get tired. Tired of the struggle. Tired of losing everyone that matters to you. Tired of watching everything turn to dust.”
Dear God, why hasn’t the Doctor jumped off a cliff and refused to regenerate yet? What’s to stop another passive suicide amidst another genocide? Because with all the wonder and dashing about, if there’s no one to hold his hand, if there’s nothing besides himself and a universe he’s bound to protect… what’s left for him?
That has to be one of the bleakest messages ever, and I am coming to loathe it.
I’m not saying make him ecstatic all the time. I’m not saying make him stay with Rose and have a happily ever after. I’m not even saying Donna has to stay or be happy to go.
But just… something. Donna or Rose accepting their fates and proper goodbyes (like with Martha or Sarah Jane), Jack inviting him to Torchwood, Sarah Jane dragging him in for tea, Martha calling just to chat, someone telling him that he and the life he lives are worth it. Some acknowledgement of what he’s gone through, that’s all I ask! Something.
Because this finale was just so conflicting with its “He has a family but, oh wait, he’s alone!” stuff that, thematically, it was a fucking mess. This episode didn’t feel like, “We’re very consciously offering you different perspectives here.” It felt like, “We are unable to take a step back or figure out what the hell we’re trying to say.”
And I’m just so sick of this Lonely God schtick. Little kids especially should not be getting the message that, as wonderful as you are and as many people you save, you’re still ultimately alone. And the better you are, the more alone you get, even if, for one shining moment, your TARDIS is full of people.
Even then, you end up alone.
Thanks, showrunners, really, thanks, I’m exploding with glee here.
Because this great optimistic family show about an alien having fun adventures in a time-traveling police box? That, even amidst death and destruction, shows us wonders and this brilliant force for good?
At its core, it’s become really rather grim and hopeless. And that’s fine for some shows, but not for Doctor Who. That’s now what I signed on for, that’s not what it says on the tin, and it’s just a terrible message.
The Lonely God thing has, well, it’s gotten overused and I find myself becoming frustrated instead of sympathizing. I find myself thinking “they had someone else sacrifice themselves for the Doctor?” instead of, “Wow, that was an amazing and heartbreaking moment.” I find myself thinking, “Do you guys HATE the Doctor or something?”
When I see angst, where I once would’ve cried and squeed, I cry and just get annoyed.
Because This Lonely God thing? It’s gotten old, guys. It’s just… gotten old.
So, um, yeah, that’s it… Sorry to end on such a negative note ‘cos I adored the episode, I really did! And I still adore the show. Just not entirely.
Also, if you actually read all of that (or even pieces of it), kudos. ‘Cos I did do a fair bit of ranting there. :)
Ready, all? ‘Cos here we go:
To start, I just want to say that almost anything I don’t go on about in a little bit, I loved. Seriously. I’m even fine with what happened to Donna (well, more or less but I’ll get to that) because, while utterly heartbreaking and terrible, I believed it, and it seemed like a logical progression, and in a terrible way, it worked. And the Doctor called out Sylvia for being a terrible mom, which, you know, FINALLY.
In particular, though, I loved:
I loved Jackie and Mickey and Big Guns, I loved the Harriet Jones mention, I loved Jackie’s “I named him Doctor except not”, I loved crazy!good!Dalek Caan, I loved Rose fighting back on the beach, I loved everything Sarah Jane, I loved Martha doing what she thought she had to do, I loved getting freaked out by Davros, I loved DoctorDonna, I loved the Martha/Rose bonding (and hug!), I loved spinny Daleks, and I loved loved loved everyone piloting the TARDIS. The joy, the camaraderie, that amazing talented caring family, every one of them better than who they were because of the Doctor.
My favorite scene ever in Doctor Who? More so than Bad Wolf? More so than the wall scene followed by the goodbye on Bad Wolf Bay? More so than Jack and the Doctor talking in Utopia?
That TARDIS family would be it.
I just… I loved this episode, I really did, and it still makes me smile.
But it’s just… there are all these pieces, these little bits, that if they just had some ironing out, if there had just been one more draft of this story, it could be so much better. If the weapon!companions thing went anywhere, if the “all these people sacrificed themselves for you, Doctor” thing went anywhere, and if there weren’t this weird disconnect between “You have this huge family” and “You are ALONE”, I would be thrilled, even with the stuff that’s lacking because of time constraints. Just a few lines of dialogue, just someone telling the Doctor that’s not all there is to it, just a knowing glance with someone, and it would be fine.
But it wasn’t. It was just like all the stand-alone episodes in a season where everyone dies and then everything’s back to normal the next week. And you know that’s fine when the show embraces its lack of emotional continuity or when the episodes are far enough apart, but here, as Davros speaks, we’re shown that somehow all those moments from all those episodes are meant to fit together. Except of course they don’t, because how the hell do you square all the angst and the frolicking the following week?
The episode itself was the same in that Journey’s End just doesn’t quite fit together, and that bothers me.
So… now we get to the not so pleasant part of my reaction: things I wasn’t particularly fond of.
-Now this isn’t really an annoyance so much as a headdesk. I mean, Martha walking the world alone again? Told that she’s going to hell and responding with, “I know”?
She and the Doctor could bond over beers and getting the short end of the stick. If, you know, she stopped saluting and they could rewind past the awkwardness and the, “I wanted to let the man who tortured your family live” thing.
I’m okay with this. I just… feel terrible for the girl.
-No Jack/Rose scene. This I blame on time constraints, but… really? The man who went back to the Estate to watch her grow up, the woman who gave him immortality, and all we get is Rose’s unexplored shock at Jack’s not!death? Especially after Utopia, this just doesn’t make sense from a storytelling perspective, unless Rose was mentioned just to be mentioned (which doesn’t really work when she’s such a large component of Jack and the Doctor’s conversation) or to make Martha feel inferior (EW).
We know there was an off-screen TARDIS hug and later conversation. There had to be. But the fact that we didn’t get it is just… weird, and annoying, and lazy writing, and sort of cheap.
-No Mickey/Rose scene. Not a huge annoyance of mine, but I wonder why he’ll miss Jackie most and we don’t see him and Rose say goodbye (other than time constraints). Now I know they must’ve but… He was really stuck living in the Doctor’s shadow in that alt!world, wasn’t he? Or did Rose just close herself off that much? Or maybe just too much had changed? *Muses*
-Rose saying nothing during the whole companion=weapon thing. This just… bothered me, and struck me as OOC. What held her back from telling the Doctor what she’d told Donna, that the Doctor makes people better?
I blame this on time constraints, but it still struck me as off. Thus in my world, Rose did say something that we didn’t see on-screen. Until I think of a proper reason why she’d stay silent (or until someone provides me with one… please, someone, anyone?), this will be my canon. It’s what I did with the “Werewolf!” TaC hug, and now I’m just about okay with that moment. Hopefully I’ll be okay with her silence eventually too.
-The Doctor making the choice for Rose. The Doctor making the choice for Donna. The Doctor taking away others’ free will to do what he thinks is right. Again. The only time he’s been called on this was when Rose came back from the alt!verse the first time (“I made my choice a long time ago and I’m never gonna leave you”), and ever since then, it’s like no one notices or cares. Which, while perfectly IC, is just weird and more than a bit squicky.
At first when I saw that ending on the beach, my reaction was, “…WTF? O___O Er…” Because, yeah, Blue!Ten tells her he loves her, and yeah they have the passionate snog of doom that one can watch in full on the Confidential (and yes I did grin like a loon), but it was still, “Here’s a consolation prize and a ball and chain in one, Rose! And watch me sacrifice my own happiness again. Kthxbai!”
And Rose—did she look happy to you?
But then, of course, I thought about it. And I thought about it. And I thought, Rose sure as hell didn’t sign on to spend the rest of her life with someone who talks like Donna. And I shook my head and thought about it some more.
And then I listened to Billie’s Beauty and the Beast comparison. And I read a comment that mentioned the two Crichtons in Farscape. And then I wrote fic. And then I was okay.
Now first, I’m going to go off on a little tangent about Farscape, so feel free to skip forward (HERE THERE BE SPOILERS!) or just bear with me here to see where I’m coming from. See, in Farscape, John Crichton is a human astronaut who ends up on a prison ship (Moya) with a bunch of aliens somewhere far far away. And he and his fellow aliens bond, and there is epic Aeryn/Crichton UST.
Then in one episode, Crichton gets split into two. No cloning; both are Crichton. Except one Crichton goes off on another ship with Aeryn while the other Crichton gets stuck aboard Moya. Expectedly, Crichton and Aeryn finally break the UST barrier and are all happy until Crichton dies. Meanwhile, the other Crichton lives his life and does a fair bit of pining.
Re-enter Aeryn. Now for Aeryn, this other Crichton is a clone, a double, an inferior and painful reminder of what she lost. But we’ve also followed this Crichton’s adventures, so while we’ve witnessed Aeryn’s grief and mourned with her, the viewer knows that this is still Crichton. And it takes a while, it takes a long long while, but eventually Aeryn comes to accept that too.
Now, Doctor Who didn’t do as good a job about making us see the Blue!Ten as an equal but alternate Brown!Ten, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is. At least, he’s supposed to be, even if we didn’t get to know him nearly well enough.
So, now we come BACK TO DOCTOR WHO:
Taking the show at face value (as best as we can when the text can’t seem to make up its mind, anyway), Blue!Ten is not exactly like Brown!Ten, and the differences go beyond one heart. Blue!Ten is emotionally in the same place as Nine (so he’s basically where Ten was in The Runaway Bride), and he’s picked up bits of Donna’s voice, her temper, her sarcasm, and he understands her thought processes. Mentally, he’s still as Lonely God and Oncoming Storm and Grinning Genius Who Licks Things as always, but he’s got that dash of Donna’s humanity and more of that obvious “No second chances” darkness.
But he’s still the Doctor. He’s not quite another regeneration because he is still Ten, except he’s not.
And he’s going to have a hard time adjusting to life as a human, of course he is, even with Rose. Because neither one of them ever wanted to “settle down.” I wouldn’t say Rose was averse to it, as such, but she loved the adventure, the new worlds. She loved dashing through the cosmos. And the Doctor, he needs that.
But look at what Sarah Jane made of life on earth. Look at what Jack made of it. After an adjustment period, this Doctor could do it, as long as there was plenty of running and trips to the Amazon and Egypt. A whole new world on another universe—think of what he could discover.
And, what should really make a shipper bounce with squee: the Doctor has one life to live, just one, and he wants to spend it with Rose. Because it’s not Brown!Ten’s decision, not really. Blue!Ten has just as much agency, has a will of his own. Blue!Ten is as much the Doctor as Nine or Two or Ten or Seven; he’s the same Doctor who kissed the Vortex away from Rose, who said goodbye to her at Bad Wolf Bay, who stood there as the Racnoss drowned, who held a dying Master in his arms, who met Agatha Christie, who ran towards Rose with a wild grin on his face before getting shot down by a Dalek.
This is that same Doctor, that same man, and he only has, what, 80 years to live?
And he wants to spend this one lifetime with Rose.
He could’ve argued to stay on the TARDIS. He could have resisted Brown!Ten at every step. What was Brown!Ten going to do? Kick him out of the TARDIS?
Except he knew what Brown!Ten was saying was true, and he wanted this. Both Doctors yearned for the “one adventure he could never have,” but now Blue!Ten could have it. And he could have it with Rose.
Just watch the Confidential to see his end of the kiss—he gets into it like whoa. And no, we didn’t see all of it on-screen, but just because we don’t explicitly see something on-screen doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. For whatever reason they decided to focus just on Rose (I’m guessing either they figured the hand-hold was enough reciprocation or they thought the kiss was too passionate there for the kiddies?), but that doesn’t change the fact that Blue!Ten was very very into the embrace.
The Doctor has wanted this, he’s wanted it for years. Just Brown!Ten doesn’t get it. His double does. (Farscape parallels ahoy!)
As for Rose, I view her situation here as very similar to that at the end of Doomsday. If one were to go just with what we saw there, Rose might work for Torchwood but she also thinks she’s as good as dead and that’s that. Except, of course, it’s not the whole story; she moves on from the all-consuming heartache, she lives her life, she is absolutely brilliant.
And a lot of us knew this would be the case because, well, we know Rose.
Similarly, no, she’s not thrilled here; from her perspective, she’s losing the man she loves for an almost-copy, someone who’s not quite good enough, a consolation prize she’s being charged with looking after, and the Doctor leaves her again without so much as a goodbye. So, yeah, she’s hurt and partially in DO NOT WANT mode. Hell, there’s going to be anger and grief and resentment there for months, if not years. And honestly, she’ll probably never fully get over the abrupt loss of Brown!Ten.
But… Blue!Ten is still the Doctor, and given time, I think Rose would see that. I think the two of them will have to get to know one another again, but honestly, that would’ve had to have happened with Brown!Ten. A lot can happen in a few years, after all, and there would always have been the awkward “How have you changed and how have I changed and what’s our new dynamic and how do we fit now?” transition period. Now, of course, this transition period will be harder, but…
It will pass, and both of them will grow, and I honestly think the two of them will be perfectly happy. Not the weird emotional continuity be damned joy-joy-joy of S2 or the very-few-consequences life of the TARDIS (though I still think Blue!Ten will grow his own TARDIS), but… Rose will live her life, and the Doctor will make a life, and then they’ll have a life together. And the Doctor won’t even have to watch her die while he lives on for centuries and centuries afterward. Because nothing can last forever, not even Rose and the Doctor.
And you know, I’m rather content with that. Because the journey and the struggle and the growth, that’s the interesting bit, and that’s what we have there. That, and Blue!Ten/Rose is actually a rather fascinating and complex web of “um, weird” but also “yay, hope!” And I think RTD intended that.
Also, don’t forget that the show did try to show us her acceptance with the kiss. Obviously they didn’t quite succeed and more actual conversation and subtler body language would’ve been preferable, but I just don’t buy into the theory that Rose only kissed Blue!Ten to make Brown!Ten happy. Rose isn’t that selfless or that manipulative; she heard the words she never needed but would have liked, the words she’s probably imagined for years now, coming out of the lips of the man she loves, and she went for it. I don’t think she consciously thought, “I’m choosing clone-boy now.” She just kissed the Doctor who said the words.
And then Brown!Ten (her Doctor) left in the TARDIS and she ran after him and damn it, he was gone, but then Blue!Ten took her hand and she held his hand back. She wasn’t just passively letting him do it; she reciprocated, just like he did with the kiss, and then they looked at one another, and now the possibilities are left up to us, the viewers, and possibly some showrunners far down the line.
Now in terms of why Brown!Ten couldn’t say the words in the end, I’m going to disagree with Julie Gardner here (blasphemy, I know). But according to her, he couldn’t say it because he’s not “human” enough, which, you know, okay, fine, whatever, have fun with that. ‘Cos that’s not it, not entirely. I mean, yes, it is a factor in that he knows that, because he is a Time Lord, he’s going to have to live on alone. And he knows that he can’t give her everything those words imply, and he knows Blue!Ten can.
But what made him really refuse to say it, what made the words “Does it need saying?” leave his lips, in my world was this:
First, he knows that he doesn’t have to. Even in Doomsday he waited until the last second, because he keeps himself distant. It’s fucked up self-preservation and defense mechanisms galore, but that’s what he does. And here, he doesn’t really need to… because Blue!Ten will say it for him.
And honestly, can you imagine how much it would hurt to say it… and know he can’t have that? To tell Rose he loves her and to then leave her, forever, with “another man”? Ouch.
And there, in the whole “Blue!Ten vs. Brown!Ten” scenario, is where we come to the heart of the matter: if he had said it, what would make Rose go for Blue!Ten instead of him?
Going with the showrunners’ obsession with Ten’s self-sacrifice, that’s what we have here. The Doctor sacrifices his moment with her, his goodbye, his admission, his kiss, so that the other Doctor can say it. So that Rose can accept this.
It’s just a bit manipulative, but for him it’s the right thing to do. It’s the safest and best thing to do. So it’s what he does.
And when he sees that kiss, he just can’t take it. He runs, because as RTD put it, “That the woman you love gets someone who looks exactly like you. And is just as good as you in every single way and you've got to admit that you're happy for them and that's as good as it gets and you've got to turn your back and go!"
Except of course he’s not just happy for them. He’s sad and angry and hurting and he wants that too.
But he’s surrendering his own happiness for Rose, and getting rid of a troublesome double at the same time, and here is where we get to the crux of my annoyance.
What the showrunners think is a good status quo is not what I think is a good status quo. Because in my world, alone and lonely and guilt-ridden and miserable and constantly constantly constantly self-sacrificing is the last place anyone wants to be, and it’s just not a fun heroic place either. In my world, that would wear you down, it would chip away at you until fuck-it-all you just gave up.
Because what we have in this episode is the Doctor put through hell without it ever being acknowledged by anyone but his taunter and some sympathetic looks from Rose’s direction. The Doctor is shown that, despite his best wishes, his companions become “weapons”. The Doctor is reminded of all the people who have sacrificed themselves for him. The Doctor is told that he is the Destroyer of Worlds after witnessing an all-too familiar genocide. The Doctor gets this fun happy gooey family for maybe an hour max before everybody leaves. As he says, they all have “someone else.”
The Doctor also “sacrifices” his own happiness for the woman he loves. By his own admission he needs her, so… he gives her away to someone who is him but not him. And the very next thing he does? He sacrifices his best friend so that she might live, and the last thing he hears from her (other than distracted chatter on a cell phone) is desperate pleading for him not to do what he’s doing. “No,” Donna begs, “please no.”
Now I don’t necessarily agree with him making the decision for her, but I can understand why he did it. But… really? That’s it? That’s all he gets?
Not even an angry bride in his TARDIS, not even a ship’s hull breaking in, not even a previous self. Nothing but the Doctor and his thoughts and his grief, with the Doctor as explicitly emotionally vulnerable as we’ve ever seen him (note the wardrobe—he’s missing that jacket, his armor). And this is the message we take away: you can be amazing, and vital, and heroic, and you’ll still end up miserable and alone. But don’t fret! You’ll keep going. Because it’s what you do.
But you’ll still end up alone.
Now, I’m as much for angst as the next person (thus my Farscape obsession). Hell, if the show didn’t have the “last of his kind” and “I have to live on alone” angst, I probably wouldn’t like it nearly as much. And I agree that sacrifice can be heroic, and struggling to be compassionate and brave and wonderful when everything is just so damn bleak and hard is one of the most amazing things a person can do.
But that can’t be what you keep falling back to. It just can’t. Because in the end, when you have nothing but friends you just can’t rely on (because of his own issues, yes, but they weren’t exactly all “Come in and have tea!” either), when all that’s driving you is loss and responsibility and the vague notion of wonders that must still be out there, when probably the only concrete thing you have to hold onto is the thought of River Song, a woman whose self-sacrifice (for you, no less) is something you’ve just witnessed…
As the Doctor himself says, “You just get tired. Tired of the struggle. Tired of losing everyone that matters to you. Tired of watching everything turn to dust.”
Dear God, why hasn’t the Doctor jumped off a cliff and refused to regenerate yet? What’s to stop another passive suicide amidst another genocide? Because with all the wonder and dashing about, if there’s no one to hold his hand, if there’s nothing besides himself and a universe he’s bound to protect… what’s left for him?
That has to be one of the bleakest messages ever, and I am coming to loathe it.
I’m not saying make him ecstatic all the time. I’m not saying make him stay with Rose and have a happily ever after. I’m not even saying Donna has to stay or be happy to go.
But just… something. Donna or Rose accepting their fates and proper goodbyes (like with Martha or Sarah Jane), Jack inviting him to Torchwood, Sarah Jane dragging him in for tea, Martha calling just to chat, someone telling him that he and the life he lives are worth it. Some acknowledgement of what he’s gone through, that’s all I ask! Something.
Because this finale was just so conflicting with its “He has a family but, oh wait, he’s alone!” stuff that, thematically, it was a fucking mess. This episode didn’t feel like, “We’re very consciously offering you different perspectives here.” It felt like, “We are unable to take a step back or figure out what the hell we’re trying to say.”
And I’m just so sick of this Lonely God schtick. Little kids especially should not be getting the message that, as wonderful as you are and as many people you save, you’re still ultimately alone. And the better you are, the more alone you get, even if, for one shining moment, your TARDIS is full of people.
Even then, you end up alone.
Thanks, showrunners, really, thanks, I’m exploding with glee here.
Because this great optimistic family show about an alien having fun adventures in a time-traveling police box? That, even amidst death and destruction, shows us wonders and this brilliant force for good?
At its core, it’s become really rather grim and hopeless. And that’s fine for some shows, but not for Doctor Who. That’s now what I signed on for, that’s not what it says on the tin, and it’s just a terrible message.
The Lonely God thing has, well, it’s gotten overused and I find myself becoming frustrated instead of sympathizing. I find myself thinking “they had someone else sacrifice themselves for the Doctor?” instead of, “Wow, that was an amazing and heartbreaking moment.” I find myself thinking, “Do you guys HATE the Doctor or something?”
When I see angst, where I once would’ve cried and squeed, I cry and just get annoyed.
Because This Lonely God thing? It’s gotten old, guys. It’s just… gotten old.
So, um, yeah, that’s it… Sorry to end on such a negative note ‘cos I adored the episode, I really did! And I still adore the show. Just not entirely.
Also, if you actually read all of that (or even pieces of it), kudos. ‘Cos I did do a fair bit of ranting there. :)
