salienne

I am officially an alumna with a Bachelor's of Arts in Psychology, who graduated with general Honors.

Yay. :)

As mentioned earlier, I contacted my representative (a Republican) about HR3, otherwise known as the "Only some rape is real rape, and incest--really that bad?" bill.

Well, he got back to me. I find his response, um, infuriating to say the least.

Thank you for letting me know of your opposition to H.R. 3, the No Taxpayer Funding of Abortion Act. You can be sure that I share your interest in this regard and appreciate knowing of your thoughts.

As you know, H.R. 3 would prohibit the expenditure of funds authorized or appropriated by federal law, or funds in any trust fund to which funds are authorized or appropriated by federal law, from being used for any health benefits coverage that includes coverage of abortion.

H.R. 3 has been referred to various committees, including the House Judiciary Committee, where it awaits further consideration. Because of your interest in this regard, and in an effort to be of all possible assistance to you, I have taken the liberty of sharing your opposition to this measure with my colleagues on the committees. As they continue to review the No Taxpayer Funding of Abortion Act, please know that they will keep your thoughts in mind.

Again, thank you for taking the time to contact me regarding this matter of mutual concern. It is my hope that you will continue to keep me apprised of your interest in legislative issues important to you.

Now, reading that, can you tell where he stands on the issue? 'Cos if you were to skim, reading only the first paragraph with any real depth, you might even think he agrees with my opposition! I mean, he shares my interest, right?

...And then we come to paragraph two, which completely misrepresents the scope and fundamental purpose of the bill and neglects to so much as mention the Hyde Amendment.

Suddenly, close reading becomes a lot more important than it has been since, say, English class last year. Suddenly I understand why he shares my "interest" and not my concern. Suddenly that last paragraph and really this entire e-mail seem strikingly disingenuous.

Congressbro, and I mean that as condescendingly as possible, I would respect you a lot more if you weren't trying to hide your stance on this Bill by pandering to both sides, hoping I won't pay attention on any final vote. Hoping I wouldn't notice you're one of the fucking cosponsors, you cowardly piece of hypocritical misogynistic trash.

So unbelievably disgusted right now I can't even

Me: Hey mom, I need new bras.
Mom: I've had mine for 12 years, what do you need new bras for?
Me: ...

On another note, ep. 3 of season 3 of was terrible. Fart jokes? A completely wasted Merlin-gets-arrested-for-magic plot line? Bleh.

Also, yeah, Gwaine's a bit of a Stu, though a fun Stu, so I'll run with it.

As of 10 AM this morning, I have embarked upon the final leg of an epic journey: my senior year of university. Under a year from now, even if I fail just about everything (unlikely), I will graduate with a Bachelor's of Psychology with a minor in Writing Seminars and all my pre-med requirements fulfilled.

The problem?

Exactly what I was afraid of.

My sense of excitement, connection, interest to what I was learning today?

Pretty much zip, with the exception of Russian Literature.

Then again, my two other courses were Biochemistry and Theories and Methods of Clinical Psychology, but you'd think at least that second one would be fascinating, right?

...Sort of?

While acknowledging that it could just be the professor's teaching method (because the professor himself seems pretty awesome), I think my interest in pursuing psychology has pretty much gone... kaput. Not that it isn't important, not that it isn't interesting, but it's just not what fascinates me anymore.

What I want is to learn about is the way systematic advantage and disadvantage affect group of people, and how that translates to the individual. How the individual reflects these societal pressures. And about more than just mental health and wellness/nonwellness. There's a lot more out there, and I just can't stick with such a narrow medical individual focus.

So. Sociology with a focus in Gender Studies. Non-profit feminist work. Teach For America as a stepping stone on my way to combating societal issues.

Hope I didn't waste my undergrad years as a Psychology major... :/

Right. So. This should be my "I am coming back from an effective hiatus, here is a bunch of interesting stuff that you've all missed, have an internet cookie!" post.

(By the way, here's an internet cookie:



Unfortunately, it's a bit creepy.)

Since that expectation seems reasonable, I think I'll go for it, though in really truncated form.

Highlights of the past year, include:

1. Going to England for fall semester, and loving it absolutely. Realizing that social relationships don't change no matter where you go, though the people involved might. That BBC iPlayer is awesome. That most places are not as self-congratulatory and isolated as the United States. That purchasable items in the US are cheap. That anyone over there could outdrink a frat boy. That Starbucks has taken over the world, but cafes in general have a greater foothold over there than they ever could here. That only the US knows US history, and that's really the way it should be. That accents will still make you smile, but can't last. That people aren't all that different between here and there. That I really need to go back and visit, and dye my hair an unnatural but natural enough red.

2. Coming back to the States for Spring, and finishing up junior year 2 days ago. I am now a senior in university. This is not anywhere near as exciting, and far more terrifying, than I expected.

3. Becoming a raging feminist, to the extent of starting a feminist group on my campus and seeing the world in terms of societal privileges and disadvantages. This is accompanied by an obsession with current events and a deep-seated love affair with ontd_political. It feels like a more... "real" perspective, I guess, but it gets tiring sometimes.

It's also led to a drain in creativity to the extent of an inability to, well, write. Characters don't capture me the way they used to, and I can't even begin a story without thinking of the 'messages' the story would carry. I'm hoping I can get over this or channel it into something productive, hopefully in the form of fiction.

4. Realizing that I don't know what I want to do with my life anymore. Working for feminist non-profits or going to grad school for Sociology with a focus in Gender Studies (and then researching gender, either as a professor or as someone in a feminist organization) are the most preferable options, but becoming a psychiatrist just isn't appealing anymore. It's too limited in scope. That said, either one of the aforementioned options would lead to me living in a box, and not a particularly nice one.

5. Turning 21. Self-explanatory.

Otherwise, I'm now home for 2.5 weeks before heading back to school for some research over the summer. My cat's staying home for the summer, though, and coming to join me in the fall. (We just flew home today, so she's very unhappy and hiding under the bed, even though she lived here all first semester. It's very sad.)

And now, to continue watching some Stargate: Atlantis and analyzing it from an imperialist Western standpoint, as a feminist standpoint doesn't go much beyond "Oh look, it's Captain Kirk and the objectification of women all over again." Kinda obvious, kinda ridiculous, and kinda fun.

How is life treating you all?

I go to a fairly prestigious and relatively liberal university in the States. As such, I expect certain things from my university: diversity; attempts at tolerance, acceptance, and equality; a non-hostile environment. As a woman and as member of our sexual assault hotline, I certainly expect my university to respect women, and I expect it to do its best to prevent the objectification and disparaging of women. I expect it not to explicitly further misogyny and the rape culture.

I expect it to protect women. To protect me and those I care about.

What I do not expect is for a student group to invite Tucker Max, Mr. 'women are like toys and trash, there for my entertainment,' to speak. I do not expect my tuition to go towards paying this man thousands of dollars to tell jokes about all the women he's fucked and all the women he's threatened with violence.

Naturally, there was a petition. Faculty members wrote letters. The Deans and the President were contacted, the student organization responsible heard speeches and read these letters and the petition. They voted.

Guess who's still coming this Wednesday?

Now I'm in England, so I have managed to remain relatively disconnected from all of this. I've been able to ignore it.

Until today when I really looked at Mr. Max's writing, when I really listened to what's going on back at my university, what my friends are going through.

For all the good it will probably do (i.e. none), I have just sent this letter to just about every person I can think of to contact:

( The Letter of Protest )

Will it do anything? Probably not.

But I am so hurt, angry, disappointed, and just all-around upset. I had to do something, and for what it's worth, I did this. It was probably all already said, but it had to be said again.

I hate the world sometimes, guys. Between this, my Gender Relations class, Maine, the Stupak Amendment, and that gang-rape where a group of at least 10 teens stood around and laughed and took pictures and watched, I just feel so stuck and helpless.

How do you change--or even live in--a world where most people refuse to believe anything is wrong, where women (and minorities, and those with less money, and so many others) are second-class citizens, where things only get worse the further you move away from your comfort zone, and where even your supposedly liberal university will claim that it's perfectly okay for a misogynist to come and laugh at the suffering of women?

Me: it penetrates with the threat of death or tragedy
Sara: Warning, this penis will result in death or horrifying injury.
Sara: It should not be consumed by pregnant women or woobie tea boys who look good in suits.

In other news, not every play Shakespeare wrote was Hamlet, and Renaissance males were sexist assholes, though oftentimes not as bad as one might think.

Also, my room is cold and everything is far too expensive over here in the UK, but I absolutely love it, and not only because of the accents.

Now to figure out how I'm going to travel Europe alone for a month during Christmas break... Any suggestions?

And by Oz, I mean England; in a few hours (i.e. about 7), I am off to Newark and then to London.

Wish me luck, guys!

Also, any suggestions on what to do once in England? Anything in particular I should check out? Heck, anyone feel like hanging out at any point?

My dog is now very enthusiastically digging a hole to China.

On my bed.

Yeah.

ETA: My mom walks in. Suzie's response: look up, then go back to sleep. Still content.

My dad walks in. Suzie's response: to growl.

I admit, I'm still cracking up.

Not in the good way, either. In the "The A/C isn't working and, oh yeah, you live in Florida and it's a bright sunny day outside!" way. And while it's sort of adorable seeing my cats splayed on the tile floor to cool off, it doesn't quite make up for the evil of the Heat.

In other news, lunaserenade is here. This is awesome, though, in her words, "We can't breeeaaathe." Which is a slight exaggeration, but still.

Her explanation: "If you hadn't killed Jesus, we'd have A/C." I guess me being Jewish destroys technology. Damn.