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For your amusement...
Jun. 5th, 2011 07:50 pmI was loling throughout this trailer, ngl. Wedding invitations are SO DRAMATIC.
I was loling throughout this trailer, ngl. Wedding invitations are SO DRAMATIC.
A summary of every love triangle wherein one girl chooses between two guys two guys fight over a girl prize:
GIRL: Doo doo doo, life is lonely.
GUY 1: Hello girl. I am hot.
GIRL: Oh heavens I may be a little wet, I am in love!
GUY 1: I love you too bb.
*ENTER: Guy 2*
GUY 2: Hello girl. I am more hot.
GIRL: Oh heavens I may be a little wet, I am already in love! But but...
GUY 2: I love-
GUY 1: HEY. Mine!
GUY 2: Who says?
GUY 1: I say. I mean, um... she says! Let's let her choose.
GUY 2: But of course.
GIRL: Okay. Cool. 'Cause-
GUY 1: Why are you here anyway? What do you want?
GUY 2: I want her. And she wants me.
GIRL: Actually-
GUY 1: No. She wants me.
GUY 2: She wants me.
GIRL: ...I'm not really important to this conversation, am I?
GUY 1: Me.
GUY 2: Me.
GUY 1: I'll fight (you) for her.
GUY 2: Any time, dudebroass.
GIRL: ...
*GIRL goes to a cafe with a very long book*
GUY 1: You're on!
*GUY 1 and GUY 2 proceed to have various contests of bravery and manly manliness, getting all hot and dirty and making ~eyes~ at each other, until such time as one of them wins. Let's go with GUY 1.*
GUY 1: Ha! I beat you!
Guy 2: ...Dammit.
GUY 1: I get the girl! I get the girl!
*GIRL comes back from the cafe, where she was actually quite enjoying her book and latte, as a woman ending up single would be a tragedy of incalculable proportions.*
GIRL: Aren't I the protagonist here?
GUY 1: Ha! I got the girl!
GUY 2: So you did. *To GIRL* I will always love you, but I realize now your heart lies with him.
GIRL: ...Yeah. Guess so. I LOVE YOU GUY 1, I ALWAYS HAVE.
GUY 1: I LOVE YOU, GIRL.
*GUY 2 leaves. GUY 1gets his reward and GIRL life happily ever after.*
GIRL: Doo doo doo, life is lonely.
GUY 1: Hello girl. I am hot.
GIRL: Oh heavens I may be a little wet, I am in love!
GUY 1: I love you too bb.
*ENTER: Guy 2*
GUY 2: Hello girl. I am more hot.
GIRL: Oh heavens I may be a little wet, I am already in love! But but...
GUY 2: I love-
GUY 1: HEY. Mine!
GUY 2: Who says?
GUY 1: I say. I mean, um... she says! Let's let her choose.
GUY 2: But of course.
GIRL: Okay. Cool. 'Cause-
GUY 1: Why are you here anyway? What do you want?
GUY 2: I want her. And she wants me.
GIRL: Actually-
GUY 1: No. She wants me.
GUY 2: She wants me.
GIRL: ...I'm not really important to this conversation, am I?
GUY 1: Me.
GUY 2: Me.
GUY 1: I'll fight (you) for her.
GUY 2: Any time, dudebroass.
GIRL: ...
*GIRL goes to a cafe with a very long book*
GUY 1: You're on!
*GUY 1 and GUY 2 proceed to have various contests of bravery and manly manliness, getting all hot and dirty and making ~eyes~ at each other, until such time as one of them wins. Let's go with GUY 1.*
GUY 1: Ha! I beat you!
Guy 2: ...Dammit.
GUY 1: I get the girl! I get the girl!
*GIRL comes back from the cafe, where she was actually quite enjoying her book and latte, as a woman ending up single would be a tragedy of incalculable proportions.*
GIRL: Aren't I the protagonist here?
GUY 1: Ha! I got the girl!
GUY 2: So you did. *To GIRL* I will always love you, but I realize now your heart lies with him.
GIRL: ...Yeah. Guess so. I LOVE YOU GUY 1, I ALWAYS HAVE.
GUY 1: I LOVE YOU, GIRL.
*GUY 2 leaves. GUY 1
Torturing myself
Jan. 9th, 2011 02:33 amMy way of dealing with the awful that was today/going back to school tomorrow: watching the Eclipse movie.
The whole time, THIS HAS BEEN MY FACE:
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:
Even with the squickiest parts of the book toned down (Edward, for instance, doesn't offer Bella up as a baby incubator to Jacob), it still Keeps. Getting. Worse.
It's also still not over, what is this, this is the slowest moving movie ever made.
On another note, one of the guest actresses form SGA is in it (the annoying princess), and it amuses me mightily.
ETA: Edward, for instance, doesn't offer Bella up as a baby incubator to Jacob
So I just reread the scene in the books (AND OMG IT IS SO SKEEVY I CAN'T EVEN DEAL, IT'S ALL ABOUT JACOB'S PLAN TO GET IN HER PANTS AND IF EDWARD WOULD JUST IGNORE HER WISHES AND LEAVE HER TO KILL HERSELF AGAIN THEN JACOB COULD NICE GUY HIS WAY IN THERE OKAY), but I can't seem to find this bit. Maybe my brain made it up? Idk.
ETA 2: NOPE, I FOUND IT. IT'S IN BREAKING DAWN:
“I don’t care about anything but keeping her alive,” [Edward] said, suddenly focused now. “If it’s a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants.” He paused for one beat. “She can have puppies, if that’s what it takes.”
You GO there, Edward, offering your lady to other guys without asking her permission! She's your lady, after all, and it's any old baby she wants.
Have Jacob's reaction:
"I couldn't think about what he was suggesting. It was too much. Impossible. Wrong. Sick. Borrowing Bella for the weekends and then returning her Monday morning like a rental movie? So messed up.
So tempting."
The whole time, THIS HAS BEEN MY FACE:
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:
Even with the squickiest parts of the book toned down (Edward, for instance, doesn't offer Bella up as a baby incubator to Jacob), it still Keeps. Getting. Worse.
It's also still not over, what is this, this is the slowest moving movie ever made.
On another note, one of the guest actresses form SGA is in it (the annoying princess), and it amuses me mightily.
ETA: Edward, for instance, doesn't offer Bella up as a baby incubator to Jacob
So I just reread the scene in the books (AND OMG IT IS SO SKEEVY I CAN'T EVEN DEAL, IT'S ALL ABOUT JACOB'S PLAN TO GET IN HER PANTS AND IF EDWARD WOULD JUST IGNORE HER WISHES AND LEAVE HER TO KILL HERSELF AGAIN THEN JACOB COULD NICE GUY HIS WAY IN THERE OKAY), but I can't seem to find this bit. Maybe my brain made it up? Idk.
ETA 2: NOPE, I FOUND IT. IT'S IN BREAKING DAWN:
“I don’t care about anything but keeping her alive,” [Edward] said, suddenly focused now. “If it’s a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants.” He paused for one beat. “She can have puppies, if that’s what it takes.”
You GO there, Edward, offering your lady to other guys without asking her permission! She's your lady, after all, and it's any old baby she wants.
Have Jacob's reaction:
"I couldn't think about what he was suggesting. It was too much. Impossible. Wrong. Sick. Borrowing Bella for the weekends and then returning her Monday morning like a rental movie? So messed up.
So tempting."
All angst is not created equal
Aug. 30th, 2008 02:52 amSomeone remind me not to read Stephenie Meyer before I work on my Doctor/Rose/Master fic. I start writing the Doctor and Rose like Edward and Bella without the clumsiness and far less condescending laughter and just...
Ugh. *Shudders*
There should be a mantra that goes, "Not all guilt and angst-ridden immortals who make decisions for the people they care about are Edward. Not all guilt and angst-ridden immortals who make decisions for the people they care about are Edward."
I'm really happy I had the dialogue and motivations figured out (more or less) in advance.
Though I think the Master would get a kick out of watching the Doctor sparkle.
Mission For Tomorrow: Commentary for Before We Rest, watch some Doctor Who, and finish/fix this chapter.
Ugh. *Shudders*
There should be a mantra that goes, "Not all guilt and angst-ridden immortals who make decisions for the people they care about are Edward. Not all guilt and angst-ridden immortals who make decisions for the people they care about are Edward."
I'm really happy I had the dialogue and motivations figured out (more or less) in advance.
Though I think the Master would get a kick out of watching the Doctor sparkle.
Mission For Tomorrow: Commentary for Before We Rest, watch some Doctor Who, and finish/fix this chapter.
Oh Stephenie Meyer...
Aug. 29th, 2008 04:22 pmSo I'm reading Midnight Sun, the first book from the POV of Edward, and... dear God, the more I read the more I want to punch Edward in the face. With a crowbar, since that's the only thing that would work.
Bella becomes far more interesting in this book than she seems as a POV character, and it's nice to see her actually snap at her vampire boyfriend and not accept everything. And his perspective is lots of fun in the beginning, especially right after the car accident.
But if I wanted to read about a guy thinking about the girl he likes like a puppy (aw, look at the cute widdle thing's anger!) and guilting about anything except actually, you know, hurting the feelings of the girl he supposedly loves so much...
Ugh.
Give me Jacob. His POV I actually like. Even if I do loathe him for the selfishness and borderline sexual assault.
The more I think about it... wow, this really does make the Doctor/Rose relationship seem like the pinnacle of health, guys.
ETA: ( HOW DID I MISS THIS BEFORE? Herein be spoilers, some text from the book )
Just... I... How...
Where were my alarm bells? Who stole them? Who turned off my brain and Creepy Sexism Sensors? Moffat squicks me, and I almost volunteered for an online abuse hotline and have read so so much about abusive and/or controlling relationships.
GAH.
ETA2: ( Because I was so proud for just a second )
Yes, Edward. Command her. That is what women are for. ...How has Alice not smacked you yet?
Though this bit did make me giggle:
For a half-second I was distracted by the idea, the impossibility, of what it would be like to kiss her. My lips to her lips, cold stone to warm, yielding silk…
And then she dies.
Bella becomes far more interesting in this book than she seems as a POV character, and it's nice to see her actually snap at her vampire boyfriend and not accept everything. And his perspective is lots of fun in the beginning, especially right after the car accident.
But if I wanted to read about a guy thinking about the girl he likes like a puppy (aw, look at the cute widdle thing's anger!) and guilting about anything except actually, you know, hurting the feelings of the girl he supposedly loves so much...
Ugh.
Give me Jacob. His POV I actually like. Even if I do loathe him for the selfishness and borderline sexual assault.
The more I think about it... wow, this really does make the Doctor/Rose relationship seem like the pinnacle of health, guys.
ETA: ( HOW DID I MISS THIS BEFORE? Herein be spoilers, some text from the book )
Just... I... How...
Where were my alarm bells? Who stole them? Who turned off my brain and Creepy Sexism Sensors? Moffat squicks me, and I almost volunteered for an online abuse hotline and have read so so much about abusive and/or controlling relationships.
GAH.
ETA2: ( Because I was so proud for just a second )
Yes, Edward. Command her. That is what women are for. ...How has Alice not smacked you yet?
Though this bit did make me giggle:
For a half-second I was distracted by the idea, the impossibility, of what it would be like to kiss her. My lips to her lips, cold stone to warm, yielding silk…
And then she dies.
