The Art of Kissing

[salienne]

So, y'all remember when I went to Putney Summer Program last year? Well, I mentioned a book called "The Art of Kissing" from the 1930's, otherwise known as "The Art of Rape." And while on the phone with neytaritook (sooooo much fun XD), I've discovered the book online here.

Man, on the other hand, is given the duty of being the protector of his wife and, after they are born, of his children. Therefore, he must always be the one who takes the initiative. He must be strong, he must be willing, he must be physically able to take care of his charges, He must be the aggressor.

It is, therefore, necessary that the man be taller than the woman. The psychological reason for this is that he must always give the impression of being his woman's superior, both mentally and especially physically. The physical reason, with which we are more concerned, is that if he is taller that his woman, he is better able to kiss her. .... For when the situation is reversed, the kiss becomes only a ludicrous banality. The physical mastery is gone, the male prerogative is gone, everything is gone but the fact that two lips are touching two other lips. Nothing can be more disappointing.

(This next part is my favorite:)
(italicising is mine)
Naturally, the first thing he should do is to arrange it so that the girl is seated against the arm of the sofa while he is seated at her side. In this way, she cannot edge away from him when he becomes serious in his attentions. This done, on some pretext or another, such as a gallant attempt to adjust the cushions behind her, he manages to insinuate his arm, first around the back of the sofa and then, gradually, around her shoulders. If she flinches, don't worry. If she flinches and makes an outcry, don't worry. If she flinches, makes an outcry and tries to get up from the sofa, don't worry. Hold her gently but firmly, and allay her fears with kind, reassuring words. Remember what Shakespeare said about "a woman's no." However, if she flinches and makes an outcry, a loud, stentorian outcry, mind you, and starts to scratch your face, then start to worry or start to get yourself out of a bad situation. Such girls are not to be trifled with ... or kissed. It is such as they, in most cases, who still believe the story of the stork which brings babies because of the consequences of a kiss.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. The ONLY reason a girl would not want to kiss you is because... she thinks babies come from the stork who comes after kisses.

This is hysterical, but on another level, just plain creepy. Thank goodness for the way times have changed...

And now I be off. I should really edit/finish up this fanfic...

Ta mates.

Comments

[salienne.livejournal.com]

You totally should've gotten it. XD