salienne: (Default)
...Yelena is really really tired but can't sleep because of her stupid stupid cough and because the cough syrup tastes like what hell would taste like, if hell had a taste:

Once upon a time, there was a fairy named Echidna. Echidna had a thing for black leather and smal children... that is, she liked to dress the small children in Matrix coats and watch them kill each other. (See, completely innocent.) Echidna also happened to be about three inches tall and made of feathers, but somehow, she looked like a tiny person with wings and was able to persuade these children. Echidna could be very persuasive when she wanted to be.

One day, Echidna was fluttering down a back alleyway when she ran into another fairy who also happened to be named Echidna. Echidna 1 didn't like Echidna 2. Echidna 2 was indifferent. Echidna 1 attacked Echidna 2. Echidna 1 got her ass whupped.

Before I continue, I should tell you the story of Echidna 2. Echidna 2's real name is Coral Reaf (her parents were hippie fairies), but during her rebellious phase, she changed it to something more "badass," and the name stuck. Echidna 2 also took lessons in fairy karate, also known as fly-and-bash (this was also during her rebellious phase). In fact, Echidna 2 is only now starting to get out of her rebellious phase, so can you really blame her for beating Echidna 1 up?

And now, back to the story.

So Echidna 1 was lying on the cold, hard, wet asphalt--a place no fairy should be since they even sleep while in flight--and she cried out for vengeance. "Zeus!" she cried. "Oh great god of the Greeks, help me!"

Zeus, however, was busy (someone needs to morph into animals and make all those half-god babies, non?), but he was not indifferent to Echidna 1's plight. I will send my good friend Norbert, Zeus thought. So he snapped his fingers (hard to do when you were currently a bull otherwise occupied) and Norbert appeared in the alleyway.

Norbert was a turtle. He wore glasses and sneakers, had a nasally voice, and was often rather miserable (anyone catch the reference?). The moment he saw the fairies, his eyes bugged out, he screeched, and he tried to ran away. Sadly, he ran right into a kitty who scratched him, tripped, fell, and his his head against the wall. Norbert passed out, and with that, the matter was decided, because with that, both Echidna's began to laugh.

Echidna 2 helped Echidna 1 up, helping her get about 5 feet up in the air.

"I am very sorry I hurt you," Echidna 2 said.

"It is quite all right," Echidna 1 said.

"Let us be friends!" Echidna 2 said.

Echidna 1 smiled. "Okay!"

The two went to find child-sized long black leather coats and guns, and they lived happily ever after.

The end.
salienne: (Aeryn)
Cough syrup is officially the worst-tasting product on earth. If hell had a taste, it would be the taste of cough syrup.

Thank you, and have a nice day.

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salienne

July 2011

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